Nathan Buchholz

Tag: profane-beasts

  • Profane Beasts Preorder and Release Date

    Thank you to Everyone who came out to the virtual cover review for Profane Beasts! I am so happy to be able to share the cover with you below!

    Profane Beasts releases on September 25th, 2025. The pre-order is now live at the link below!

    https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=tJ8DX5HETKhsRwTt2xvbc4FTWgFKFzVT49NnHbr2q2r

    If you are still uncertain of whether or not Profane Beasts is for you, check out the second excerpt from the book below, chronicling the final message between the troubled Kelly and her therapist Alice.

    (The following voicemail was left on Alice Crenshaw’s phone by Kelly Harden on August 7th at 3:30 PM. The voicemail left on Alice Crenshaw’s phone at the time of recovery for this investigative report indicating that it was not deleted. The voicemail mentions a photo that was also sent to Alice Crenshaw at 3:35 PM via text. The photograph was saved in Alice Crenshaw’s photos.)

    (Voicemail begins)

    Alice, I’m not surprised you aren’t picking up. Probably fair given all the times I let you go to voicemail. I know now that you were trying to help. I said some cruel things in the email I sent you. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt, especially after all you did for me. If I’m being honest Alice, you’re the first person who seemed to genuinely want to help me. Typical of me to drive you away, it’s a pattern, probably something I should talk to a therapist about.

    But I didn’t call you to talk about those emails, or that night. I called because I think, for the first time in years, I’m getting some answers. Answers about what happened at camp, answers about what happened at Calvary Baptist, answers about this whole fucking city. I can’t tell you over the phone, they could be listening, but I’ve gotten to the root and I feel better than I have in a long time.

    Answers are what I hoped to get talking to you. Tactics and strategies to help me be less anxious, less worried just living my life, more functional whatever that means. I know you did your best, but that wasn’t enough for me, wasn’t what I really needed. What I needed was to understand why, how sending me to camp, all of that poison they put in my mind was connected. Putting together the bigger picture you know? Because only once you understand why something awful happened to you can you do something about it. Now I know things. Things the people here wouldn’t want to get out, wouldn’t want to go public.

    And that’s the thing about it isn’t it? Now that the hateful, dangerous center is exposed I can stop it from hurting anyone ever again. That would make my suffering meaningful.

    Do you remember the testimonies that people used to give during church? Some Sunday morning where a random member of the church would talk about the “dark times” that they suffered through? I remember one time that Ms. Shelly, I guess just Shelly now that we are whole ass adults, stood up there and talked about how Jesus was the reason she had been able to leave her boyfriend. She talked about him selling pot and all the other “sins” she fell into with him. But at the end of the talk, after detailing the long list of wrongs she thought she did, she said it was all worth it because it showed her how much she needed Jesus.

    Maybe it’s the same for me. Maybe I was paranoid and anxious for a reason. Now I’ve gathered the facts and best believe me, when I’m finally ready to tell everyone what has been happening here, I’ll absolutely be in the news.

    I’m going to send you a photo of what happened to my door. Don’t worry, I think it’s good that they are trying to scare me, it means I’m getting closer to the truth. Call me back when you can so we can talk about when you are coming down to help. Make what happened to both of us mean something.

    Talk to you soon!

    (The message sent to Alice Crenshaw held a single photo taken in midday light outside of Kelly Harden’s residence. The residence was a two story town house made out of brick nestled between two other units. In the center of the photograph is a closed blue door beside a bay window. The door bears extensive burns and gouges some over two inches wide and an inch deep.

    The gouges have neat edges and are too symmetrical to be considered accidental damage. Two large gouges between two and three feet long sit around four feet apart in the center of the door. These cuts seem to bloom upwards suggesting the figure of some large tree. Shallower lines of damage appear towards the top of the door giving the appearance of limbs or branches.

    Burn damage is evident in the center of the door between the two deep slashes in the door. Seven circles are placed in seemingly random order between the long cuts. These circles are blackened as if they were placed with a brand or other superheated object. At the center of each of these circles is a small point. The circles are not similarly sized with larger circles appearing at the top of the door and smaller circles appearing at the bottom of the door.

    Near the top of the door are a pair of painted white clouds that are unmarked by the damage. Another set of clouds  have been destroyed by the brands and cuts. Before the vandalism, the door seemed to be a pastel depiction of a sunny day one could find in a child’s coloring book.)

  • Profane Beasts – Sneak Peak!

    In preparation for the virtual cover reveal of Profane Beasts, I am ready to share the introduction of the novel. Below are the official first pages of Profane Beasts.

    Virginia 1st District Court

    Convention v Faulk

    …. The following records in the civil libel case of Convention v Faulk are now unsealed for public viewing. These records include all emails, recordings, voice memos, and other relevant information that went into Mr. Faulk’s article posted on Medium titled “Strong Winds and Bloody Roots: The Dark Secret the Storm of the Century Concealed.” The case was brought to court due to “false” and “sensationalized” reports of the events surrounding Calvary Baptist Church both before and during Hurricane Ophelia. After careful consideration of the evidence, this court found that while the eyewitness testimony, email records, and voice recordings that Mr. Faulk used for his story are remarkable, we do not find that Mr. Faulk knowingly misrepresented any of his sources or showed blatant disregard for the truth.

    The investigation by Mr. Faulk has revealed key information about the whereabouts of three missing people in the wake of Super-storm Ophelia. Alice Crenshaw, Kelly Harden, and Whitney Ellington’s bodies have never been recovered in the wake of the storm, and this court encourages opening new police investigations into their deaths based on the evidence that Mr. Faulk has revealed. While this court agrees that some of the more colorful pieces of Mr. Faulk’s reporting may flirt with the fantastical, one does not have to believe in the strangest accounts of the events surrounding Calvary Baptist Church in order to think that local police have more work to do in bringing closure to the families of Alice, Kelly and Whitney…

    Author’s Note

    Dear reader,

    A feature of these documents that may immediately become clear to you is that unlike most evidence dumps from libel cases, these documents have been structured in the form of a narrative surrounding key people of interest such as Alice Crenshaw, Ernest Mobley, and others. In addition, the evidence is divided into three ‘parts’ with hymns or other lyrics attached to each ‘part’ of the story. This speaks to a design behind the presentation of evidence, and a final document set that reads more like a pulp story or tabloid than evidence dumps from an infamous court case. 

    Believe it or not, the submission of evidence in this manner was not my decision, but instead insisted upon by the people trying to ruin my name and my bank account. Their claim was not necessarily that I lied about the actual content of Alice Crenshaw’s voice memos or Ernest Mobley’s interviews, but instead that I had “put the documents together to imply patently false information about both Calvary Baptist Church and the Convention at large.” In response to the charge, I assembled the evidence together in the order that it appeared in the medium article.

    As for the charge of misusing the evidence from Alice Crenshaw’s phone as well as the other interviews I’ve collected about what exactly hap-pened at Calvary Baptist Church while Hurricane Ophelia devas­tated the Hampton Roads area, I will leave that verdict in your hand’s dear reader. Believe Alice and Ernest or not, it’s up to you, but at least now you have the opportunity to hear their remarkable story.

    Best,

    -Kellan Faulk

    ‘P.S’. As you read, you will notice several important organizations, individuals, and entities are not named, but have instead been redacted from these documents distributed to the public. I hope you can understand that as someone who has just lived through one life altering lawsuit that took my job, my home, and almost cost me my marriage, that I hope to reduce the number of future lawsuits I am exposed to by as much as possible. I deeply hope to go the rest of my life without ever seeing the inside of a courthouse again.

    Thank you,

    -KF

    ‘P.S.S.’ Please be advised that the following documents include depiction and discussion of neglect, religious abuse, anti-queer hate crimes, severe night terrors, self-harm, suicide, murder, mutilation, and torture. Remember that at any point if you find these pieces of evidence too harrowing to look through, that the power is in your hands to put down the book, take a sip of a preferred beverage, and go on a brisk walk during a mild day. I truly believe that reading is one of the most consensual relationships a person can have to a piece of media, and if you feel yourself reaching your limits, feel free to put this upsetting document away for a time.

    I do still encourage you to read it through the end, as I believe that encountering what is inside these documents in the comfort and safety of your bedroom, study, or coffee shop is important enough to face some psychic discomfort. Alice, Ernest and all the others never had the chance to just look away from what faced them at Calvary Baptist Church, you have the privilege to take a break and step away if it gets to be too much. I expect you not to waste such a generous opportunity.

    -KF

    Join me this Saturday at 7:30 on google meet for the official cover reveal and reading of another excerpt if you wish to dig to the bloody root of what happened at Calvary Baptist Church during the storm.

    I can’t wait to share it with you all!

    https://calendar.app.google/79PjDiJ7NrEgw7qY9: Profane Beasts – Sneak Peak!